Thursday, December 20, 2012

Changes again...

My blog seems to be a distant source of expressing thoughts these days due to Face Book.  As I sit this early morning, I realized that I needed to update our family status and give some more testimony of how God continues to weave a journey for us.

When I came home to be with my children in October of 2011, I knew that we were going to have a tough time adjusting; financially and emotionally.  After 6 months, emotionally was over with and financially grew stronger.  We made a decision when Anna was born for me to be at home with the kids and to homeschool.  Through the years this has been tested, but always God showed us confirmation by caring for us.

During all this time, I sought the Lord for many things and one of them being to be debt free.  For our burdens to be lifted and for us to be givers, not receivers.  I thank God for the gifts that he gives through other people, but there comes a time in your life in which you want to be able to stand on solid ground and give to others.  I, so desperately, want this to be our time.

My grandmother moved out of her house last year and gave the home to my Dad.  Daddy tried to rent the house, but with no prevail.  I began thinking about downsizing and living below our means, so the freedom that I desired could be achieved.  Of course, when I mentioned it to my husband, he just shot it down.  What a scary though, right.  We would be leaving the home we built together that was the handy work of my father and grandfather.  We would also be leaving a very spacious home of 2800 sq ft and entering into a cozy 992 sq ft.  Yes, Wayne thought I had lost my mind.

As the months went by, and I continued to pray about these things, I began to hear the Lord tell me, "Obey me and I will bless you".  I increased the conversations with my better half even more regarding the switch.  I even made a spreadsheet (it's in my nature-Business Major :-) to show the difference in our month expenses.  Finally in November 25, 2012, we came to a gut wrenching decision; to put our house up for short sale (due to the economy-our house is worth way less than what we owe) and to rent Grandmother's house.  We cried and cried about the decision, but deep down we both knew it was the right thing to do. I then began hearing the Lord tell me to "do this, so I can do my work".  

So, for the last month we have purged everything.  We have given away 2 trailers (after a yard sale that we had in October, before even knowing we would take this path), 3 completely loaded van loads, and there is still probably about a van load left at the house to give away.  I prayed for weeks for the Lord to let all of us fit into such a small space comfortably and peacefully.  I do not like clutter and I didn't want to live out of boxes or be living around boxes.

We have moved officially last weekend, and as usual, the Lord has come through.  We do fit comfortably.  Yes, there is still some adjusting to be done- with 5 people, 2 dogs (labs, I might add), and 2 parakeets.  We are not living out of boxes or moving around them.  God gave me the ability to release the house and everything in it.  It is an amazing feeling actually to let go of things that didn't even belong to me in the first place.  I am living by today, not tomorrow or next year.  God is teaching me, through this trial, to lean more on him and not on my circumstances.  I don't actually feel like this is home, not yet anyway.  But I pray that I always know that this house is even His, not mine.

This house has much to be done in it, and this was the most overwhelming part.  God knew that and I prayed that he would honor us in our obedience   That He would allow us to give back to my parents and grandparents.  A total stranger showed up on move in Saturday, Rendal.  He is a friend of a friend of mine.  He is in charge of Builders for Christ.  The Lord brought him for that "giving" I wanted for my parents/grandparents.  He promised that he would be back after the holidays to fix the major problems of the house for FREE.  Yes, I said it.  This is such a confirmation that we were supposed to move.  This renovation is not just for us, right now, but for the restoration of my grandfather's handy work.  I really believe that this is just the beginning of some answers to our long awaited prayers.

What a blessing it is to have a God that cares about the little things in life.  What a blessing it is to have a home to go to; with a roof, heat/air, plumbing, and beds to sleep.   God, I want to thank you.  Thank you for my family that you have given to me.  Thank you for a sense of peace and restoration.  Thank you for Rendal and his team.  I pray that they can restore the major problems of this house for the future of the home.  Lord, I ask that you continue to show us direction and leadership in our lives.  We cannot live without you.  I ask that you heal our bodies.  You know that at this time, I have three sick children.  Give them comfort and peace.  Give them healing on their bodies.  Let them know Lord that the sickness is not going to last forever and that you will protect them.  Continue to mold us into your servants.  Lord, we want to be more like you everyday.  Allow Wayne and I to be the parents that we need to be, so our children will know that you are King of our lives.  I pray for blessings on my children's, grandchildren's, and grandchildren's children's lives.  Gives us a legacy that leads to you.  This day, I give to you.  Give me the words to speak and actions to do, to give life to someone else.  In your precious son's name, Jesus-Amen.

Friday, November 2, 2012

"God takes good care of me"

Last week was a hard one, but this week is just icing on the cake.  As my daughter and I started our way to Alabama, our newer car broke down.  It took almost two hours for a wrecker and my mom (all the way from Alabama) to recover us.  After we dropped the car off at the shop in Haralson (a local backyard mechanic that a lot of us use), my Daddy was insistent that Momma bring me to Alabama.  So, we set off finally in the direction we intended to go earlier in the day. 

As we sat in the car waiting for everyone to arrive, my daughter said, " Mom you sure are handling this really well."  I just simply replied that there was no since in crying or shouting or getting upset.  Doing any of those things wasn't going to bring the car back to life or make us get to our destination any faster.  So, we decided to play games instead (electronically :-). 

During the night, early Tuesday morning, we received a phone call that my Daddy's uncle had passed.  He had been battling pancreatic cancer for several months and finally received his peace.  I am thankful that we were there, so my Daddy wouldn't be alone and dealing with his emotions.  Then on Wednesday after surviving the journey to Fairburn for the funeral-which was prayerfully joyful and peaceful, we get a phone call that the asset damages to the car would be $900! That nearly choked me, silently.  I didn't know how I would pay the horrific traffic ticket, advalorem on the car, our mortgage, and the other few bills that we have.  I just told the Lord that he would have to handle this, because I was just plain tired of worrying about stuff. 

At church on Sunday, as I tithed, I asked the Lord to help us eat, pay are bills, and give us direction.  Tithing hurt way more that it usually did.  Ya know in a non-tithers mentality tithing doesn't make any sense and the budget never can be in the black (for most of us anyway).  So, this week was a particularly extra hard week.  I trusted him and kept my promise to the promised tithe.

Low and behold, he has cared for us.  First, Wednesday I called on the ticket to see how much it was.  I jokingly mentioned that I hadn't received a ticket in 11 years and the woman agreed.  She offered me a ticketed warning, which doesn't go on my record and only cost $30! God is so good!!!

Then today, Friday, my pastor contacted me and some anonymous person gave the church $400 to the cost of our vehicle getting repaired! Wow, right!

Then, Wayne called me today and told me he actually got 4 loads today at work.  He hasn't done this in weeks! Plus, he was given 4 bags of dog food.

Along with all of this, in William's school this week we were covering N-N-Nest.  The cue card for this sound states, "God takes good care of me".  Today we read out of Matthew, reminding all of us that even the birds of the air do not go without food, shelter, and clothing.  God knows what we need before we even ask.  The birds do not ask, but they receive.  So, we too shall receive his care because we do ask.

I know that you are awesome, God.  This week, even though it was rough, I trusted you.  I asked for your guidance and the finances for our situations, which you delivered in multiples.  Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be the daughter of the King.  The one who created us all to Love and to share this love with all around us.  I ask that you bless the person that wants there good deed to be secret.  I pray that you will give them 100 times the amount that they gave us.   I felt like the widow and her mite, but just like you blessed her-you have us.  Continue to allow us to follow what you want for our lives.  You know our hearts' desire and if they are yours then let them be.  I pray that our mechanic receives financial blessings from you as well and the heart of God.  He loves to help people and make sure that they are not "ripped off", and for this Lord, please bless him and encourage him.  Wrap his family into your arms and fill their hearts with your word.  Thank you, again, Abba. 

In Jesus' Name,

Your Daughter

Friday, October 26, 2012

Satan, You are not the Boss of me!

I am sick and tired of Satan trying to rain on my parade.  The past years he has tried to steal my husband, my relationship with my children, lie to me about who I am in Christ, and give me catastrophe after catastrophe. 

Satan, you may not have my life, or my families, or my friends life.  Get away from our vehicles, our children, and spouses.  You don't rule me or them.  You are a liar, a thief, and a destroyer.  But guest what, I have something is more powerful than you will every have-Jesus.  His blood on the cross, heals my body, gives me joy in uncertain circumstances, provision, and most of all peace.  You can never give me these things.  You give confusion, depression, mismanagement of God's money, and death.  I am God's Girl, as Jamie Grace puts it, from the top of my head to the souls of my feet.  Get away, but I will serve God all the days of my life.  NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Get back and stand in your place-HELL. 

Jesus, I come to you tonight on behalf of my friends, family, and myself.  You are my true leader, provider, healer, confidant.  I ask that you give us (Lord, you know everyone on my mind) peace and comfort.  Lord, I ask for direction in our lives, in our marriages.  Give us success and allow us to know that this is your success, however it looks.  Give us Lord your eyes and your words, to lift each other up in prayer.  I ask, Father, that you come right now into every home.  Heal wounds, Heal bodies, Heal words, Heal friendships, Heal relationships, Heal financial burdens.  I can only give these to you, because they are not meant for me carry.  In your name, all is glorified.  I pray that my life would show your compassion, your love, your faithfulness, your desires.  Mold me and allow my husband and children to feel your presence.  Lord help to be a family that is unshakable.  I want to recognize Satan for who he really is and bring your glory to our lives and circumstances. 

Jer 29:11-12 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy my brothers when faced with trails of many kinds , knowing the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be perfect and complete, not lacking anything.  
 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Power of Ugly

 Some friends and I have reading through a book called "The Power of Ugly".   This week we were talking about "The Ugly Jesus".  It is not blasphemy, I promise (you would have to read the book).  But in the chapter, it talks about the ugly conception, the ugly birth, and the ugly death of Jesus.  How He lived such a lowly life, so ordinary.  He came here not as a king with worldly riches, but as a baby.  A baby that had to be cared for and nurtured, one that was vulnerable to mankind.  The author takes us back to the movie "The Passion of the Christ".  He writes about different things, but what stands out the most to me in that movie is when Jesus is being beaten beyond recognition.  Satan comes in the crowd as the form of an infant.  He distorts something so beautiful and mocks quietly into Jesus' mind, just as he does me daily: "Your not good enough", "You'll never please Him", "You'll never go through with it".  All the while, Jesus in his misery and pain continues to press on.  If saying..."I have already won.  I am victorious and you may not have any of them".  Wow! How amazing that I could never love someone to sacrifice everything I am and have, but He sacrificed all this for ME.  We always think of this towards mankind, but tonight I am dwelling on the peace that it was for ME!


On my ride home tonight, I just felt like the Lord wanted me to declare something publicly. I never had sister(s) with my biological family, but God has placed some truly special women in my life to give me a sense of sisterhood. Thank you God for Joe Heidi Tritt.  Lord she gives of herself to our family all the time. She is my oldest sister whom watches over me and loves me unconditionally. Thank you Lord for giving her hope to not only a future with her family, but with mine. Surgery is ugly and is not really wanted, but a good friend told me that those are just scars and reminders of who we are in Christ. Our trials set us apart. We live in victory because of Christ. Praise God that the report is 90% no cancer! Praise God that my daughter, who at the age of 7 didn't want surgery either, but can live to say that God was with us and still is today. She, too, has ugly scars that remind her (and will remind her for the rest of her life) of the ugliness of this world. We live on 70% of no re-occurrence. 

My sister in law is another special one.  She is the little sister in my life.  I get to pray with her and share in life with her the intimate things that sisters share.  We can talk for hours and still call each other the next day and have something to talk about.  I have loved her since day one and continue to pray for God to reign in her life.  

There are so many that God uses for different parts of my sister needs:Faith Phillips (my other side of my brain, most days), Angela Thrasher (who we offer each other so much support to one another), April Anderson ( girl you are my strong leader, to you I look up to)... Thank you God for these women...I am truly a blessed one.

Lord, there are no words to describe what you have done for me to be saved.  I can never say Thank you enough.  But I lift my life to you and ask that I serve you with my whole heart for the rest of my life.  You are my rock, my foundation...You are never surprised by my circumstances or my response to the them.  Mold me and shape me into the wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister, teacher, etc. that will glorify your name and nothing else.  Place people in my life that will serve as models and firm guidance in my walk.  Help me to pray for my neighbors, my family, my community, my children, my husband in a way that pleases you and brings victory to their lives.  Thank you Lord for providing sisters in my life that understand me and love me for me.  Protect these relationships and keep them from the evil one.  You are my comforter, the Peace maker...In you I have hope and look forward to a successful future.  In Jesus' name, Amen.  

Thursday, August 16, 2012

It's My Birthday

As I sit here tonight, thinking of the day, I caught myself thinking birthdays are just another day.  Ya know, kind of bummed that exciting parties, cake (in my case it would have to be gluten free), family, and friends were things of yesteryear.  I almost had a fog of depression moving in on me.  Partly because my hubby said he was working late and me thinking of our direction financially.  But I stopped and thought about my events of the day.  I had the privilege of my best friend of just a short year (but I feel like I have known her for a life time) drop her son off for me to school today and give me her Nook Color for my birthday.  Wow! I then was able to work lightly with my students (my 2 daughters and friend) with some bible and history.  I decided that if I wasn't going to do anything spectacular with my birthday, I should serve. To be honest, I feel like I have shown my students today, that it is not about receiving but giving.  I financially have nothing to give, but physically I could give my joy and love that God has given me.  We only served the local people for an hour and half, but we were praying for healing, laughing as we gained relationships, and gave food to restore hope with people.  What a joy it is to serve others, even when you don't feel like life is going your way.  Satan has no room here, only the one true God that I serve when I serve in His name.  Thank you Lord, for how much you love me.  I pray that my hands and feet will always serve you.  I ask that my words, thoughts, and actions make sweet incense to your nose.  Please guide my life with goals in mind, blessing everyone around me.  Help me Lord not to grow weary of doing good.  I pray Lord that I will not boast in anything or cause me to get the credit that is due to you.  Allow the work that I do to be yours and no others.  Give me strength and wisdom.  Thank you Lord, You are Amazing. Amen.

James 1: 2-4
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face various trials, because knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.

Galations 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 




Sunday, August 5, 2012

State of Worship

I have spent the week at a Vineyard Conference with a friend, my pastor, and his wife.  I have never even been to a revival before, let alone a week long conference.  So, needless to say it has been a week.  


Since being obedient to God two years ago, I have been dealing with "what's real" and "what's not".  I also have been dealing with feeling worthy to do what God has called me to, which is a big task for the children's ministry.  


There is a man named Robbie Dawkins.  He is known for his healing through the authority of Jesus Christ.  Well, to be honest fear is what rises when I see Mr. Dawkin's work.  So, when the service came for him to speak, I almost didn't go.  But I am glad that I did.   


As they introduced him they said some of you know him and some of you are afraid. I laughed out loud! Partly bc I was the one afraid :-) I prayed silently for God to reveal himself to me in a word that know one else knows. 


Boy did he. 


First, after a whole bunch of people came in floods to him as I stayed at my seat, he said he felt like someone was feeling lack of courage and to step out. I received that and moved towards my friend. As I tried to pray for my friend and her hurting heart I realized that Robby was standing right next to me. After a few minutes he turned and said ma'am I feel you need healing (well he doesn't know me from Adam and I never told him I feel like an 80 year old woman trapped in a 32 year old body), so I began weeping instantly. As I felt a sense of warmth move over my body, he stopped and said God is telling me that you don't feel worthy. (OK even more tears came flushing my face bc I had only told two people that and one didn't know him from Adam and the other didn't tell him). He began to speak prophetic words that I was a warrior for him. "Rise Warrior Rise". 


So meet my new motto. I am worthy and I will reach those He has called me to reach. I will live, move, pray with the lost broken shamed hopeless forgotten. He has not forgotten you. You are His precious children that he values so much.  He wrote your name on the palm of his name. I may have not gotten complete healing of my body tonight, but I received restoration of my spirit through the truth of My King!


It has been such a sweet time being in a state of worship with no distractions for 4 days.  I have never experienced anything like it before and now I look forward to be with my heavenly father more and more.  I am continuing to fight the good fight and I will not grow weary in doing good.  He is my healer, my provider, my comforter, my Abba father.  In Him I find rest.  

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Life is getting a little hairy...

Saturday, Wayne texted to ask me to pack for him for a week.  I called him back and asked, "Why?" His company sees it fit for him to go to North Carolina to train a man that has never been in the trucking industry or ever dispatched. I drove him to the pick up spot in Mableton, Ga and felt old feelings creeping in.

Back in October, when I came home and Wayne went over the road, I had so much fear and darkness to cover me.  I felt that I had gone through the process of almost loosing him all over again.  I know that sounds a little dramatic, but its true.  I came home to children I didn't know anymore and to myself, which I didn't know or fully understand.  To top that off, a week later Wayne left for 3 weeks. Now, 9 months later, I can be in my own skin.  I know that I am not the person I was 2 years ago, but neither are any of us.  Getting to know one another has been a challenge, but one worth taking.  I love being home with my children and serving my husband. 

Our journey is a continuing one.  First, I would like to say that I would not change anything, even though it has been so hard.  God has blossomed a beautiful relationship between Wayne and I; better than ever before.  We truly understand one another.  This in itself is such an answer to God.  I have prayed for the man God wants Wayne to be.  It is evident that man is coming.  God wants something BIG for him and his relationship with our Father is growing each day. 

Another thing that our journey is taking us, is through our church.  God has called me to do something I feel so unequipped to do, but he is showing himself everywhere.  The mission is enormous and makes me come to the Father even more.  Gideon also felt this way, but conquered great things. 

I face physical challenges everyday due to the Rheumatoid Arthritis that plagues my body.  The more that I answer to the call of the Lord, sometimes I feel Satan attacks me more.  Today, I feel strengthened.  I have people who pray for me and the mission that God has me on.  Not only are they praying for those things, but for my husband's success in his career and our family.  In this life, I just don't see how you can live without God, the one and only, the creator, the finisher, the Healer ( I will be healed in due time...His time), the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords, the Comforter. and the Provider.  He is my everything...

Lord, I praise you.  I lift up my husband to you.  I ask that you keep him safe and give him favor with his career.  I pray that he would be able to teach in a way that the trainee understands.  I pray, Lord, that his return is secure and safe.  Please remove any doubt or fear from me, now.  There is no place here for it.  You have always, always been there for us.  You have never forsaken us.  Lead your mission with our church.  never allow it to become "mine".  Rise up leaders and volunteers to do it for you and no other.  Thank you Lord for those who have stepped out and accepted the challenge that lies ahead.  Bless them Lord and give them guidance, direction, leading to you in those areas of the mission field.  I pray that you will sustain us and keep us going strong.  I ask that we not "fizzle" out, but never grow weary of doing good.  Lord, allow my relationship with my own children be redeemed to something that only you can do.  I pray that their husbands and wives will be Godly followers of Christ.  Guide them to their purposes in life and allow them to not be shaken.  Thank you Father for your Love and Peace.  I ask all this in your precious son's name, Jesus Christ.  Amen

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Gideon VS Me

As I prepare to engage some children with an activity for a missions project, I realized just how closely related I am to our friend Gideon.  The profile in my bible gives a description of his weaknesses and I said "Hmmm sounds like me".  He feared that his own limitations would prevent God from working.  Boy, do I fear these things too.  I pray Lord that you will take these fears of my weaknesses away.  I want to do your work and establish a deep relationship with you offering my testimonies to all that will hear.  I pray that I learn from the lessons of Gideon.  He was apart of the weakest clan and the least of the weakest, but yet you used him to defeat the undefeatable.  I am weak, but in you I am strong.  Ring this truth into my spirit and crush the enemy with his lies.  Do not allow me to make the work of your Compassion and Love into something to worship.  All is done in your name and not my own.  You have called me in the middle of my obedience and I want to be faithful.  You are creating a masterpiece within me and expanding my abilities to further your kingdom.  What peace I have to know that you can use me in all my failures and limitations for the good of your people and kingdom.  I ask Lord that you protect me from falling easily into sin and allow me to learn quickly to turn my gaze on you, Always.  Thank you for allowing me to be your servant.  You are my Abba Father and I love you.  Thank you, Thank you...In Jesus' Name-Amen.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Interesting Journey

God is so humorous, but all seeing.  You know that he calls the least of these to do the greatest things.  For example: Samuel was just a child, but completely dedicated to the Lord.  David took town Goliath, which by comparison is a miracle.   Last but not least, Gideon.  Oh Gideon.  He himself did not even feel worthy of the task that God laid before him, but his accomplishments spoke Mountains of what God can do with us. 


So, God has called me (in the middle of a service mind you) to lead our Children's Ministry.  What a BIG task to fill?  He literally has given me the material, dates, times, schedule, security, paperwork, etc that I need...He really wants me to do this :-)

I have often heard the demons say that your not good enough, or you can't be a role model to children much less teach them about Him...In these moments have to remember that I am a Daughter of the most high God and He is giving me the wisdom plus the means to do all of this.  I can do nothing of myself.


What a mighty God we serve.  He loves me no matter what.  Thank you Lord for the provision in the teaching of the children at our church.  I pray that you will rise up volunteers to take on this task at hand and that you will protect us from harm.  Lord I ask that you continually give me encouragement through my pastor, his wife, parents, and especially through my husband and children.  You are the focus of our studies and I pray that you are NEVER not.  I lift up every student and future students of our group.  I ask that you would reign in their lives and allow them to be forever moved, which would in turn change the lives of others.  Give me the wisdom Lord to conduct myself in a Godly manner, loving everyone around me and sharing your Compassion.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Death

It is amazing the difference in how people react to death.  Some never come by or call, because they just can't handle looking or hearing about how their loved one as they deteriorate.  Some have the burden of caring for the loved one full time, which they struggle with guilt of sometimes wanting to give up.  Either way, is hard and you will never know how you will handle it until death hits you right in the face. 

I have had the honor to be next door to my friend, who has taken the load of caring for her mother for the last five months.  When she arrived, we thought it to be only a month or so, but the care was obviously so much better than she was previously given.  Her conditions improved to where we thought she may live like this for 5-10 years.  Last week I noticed something had changed.  Her demeanor was different.  I didn't think much about it because I figured that my friend had noticed it too.  Four days later, a nurse was called in to evaluate her due to swelling and on going pain.  The verdict from that nurse was that her kidneys were failing.  Yesterday, her regular nurse evaluated her and stated she noticed a big difference in behavior and health too.  She gave my friend, what I call, the "death talk".  I never had such a pleasure before listening to the description of death.  She compared it to a developing fetus.  As God created us one organ at a time in the womb, we move from one world to another one organ at a time.  She said that the least important functions go first, like circulation until the Heart and Lungs (which is the last stage) go.  She also said that the journey for the sick is a long one and it takes a lifetime.  For the caregiver and family it is brief, because they tend not to notice the changes when they first occur in the process.  Her peaceful and mono-toned voice was almost like a breath of fresh air.

Death is so uncertain, so scary for most humans to handle.  Today, I am one step further from becoming not afraid, but joyful.  Joyful because that is one step closer to the Lord and to the gates of Heaven.  I did ask the Lord to allow me to live long on the earth and for my children not to experience this in a young age.  It is one thing to experience this with Grandparents, my neighbor's mom, cousins, etc than to watch your Mother or Father go through this...So, in my prayers I am asking the Lord to give me peace and allow His will which is perfect to be done. 

Friday, April 6, 2012

Unexpected Moments

As we were packing to go to the lake, William noticed a sock money.  You see the sock monkey was made by my best friend's mother, before she become ill. They currently have a relationship, due to her moving in with my friend.  He sees Ms. Betty almost everyday, hugging and telling her that he loves her.  She lights up when she sees him come through the door.  I didn't realize this relationship until what happened next.  He has had this monkey since he was a wee little thing, and never played with it or noticed it.  Something was different today though.  He asked me, "Where did I get this, Mommy?" I replied by telling him it was from Ms. Betty before she was sick.  He looked at it with such awe..and turned announcing to his sisters with joy, "Natalie, Ms. Betty made this for me! Anna, Ms. Betty made this for me!"  I can't explain the excitement and thrill to his heart that shined upon his face.  He has not put the monkey down and even slept with it.

Some things in life are not understood at the time they occur, but when the Ah Ha moment comes it is quite overwhelming.  My mother taught me that "It is better to have loved, then to have never loved before."  This lesson is very hard, especially when we know the outcome of our lives here on earth.


God thank you for our friend Ms. Betty.  She is such a beautiful creation from your skillful hands.  I ask that you bless her Lord and keep her with your peace.  I pray Lord that when it is her time, that you will just take her like a breath of air.  I also pray Lord that the relationships that are made with her are treasured for your Glory.  You are mighty and awesome in power.  I will serve you all my days and pray my children and husband will too.  In your precious son's name, Jesus.  Amen.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Well, being without a vehicle for almost 4 months has certainly had its challenges.  As I paid the previous owner this morning, in cash, for our 2001 New Beetle; I felt exhilarating! We have never been able to purchase something like this on our own before and knowing as I drove away that it is mine (title in hand).  I almost felt like it wasn't true.  Just pinch me :-)

I wanted to take a minute to praise the God of fathers.  He has made this come true for us, not ourselves.  He prepared our hearts to want less and be satisfied.  Thank you Lord for your love and gifts to me.  We are sons and daughters of your kingdom and I am at awe.  You are majestic even in the tough times and I am proud to call you Papa.  Continue to mold Wayne and I to your will.  Allow us to share your word and testimony with others.  I pray blessings on my children as they grow to be obedient followers of Christ.  In your Mighty Son's Name-Amen.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

I want more...

It is interesting that today as I was sitting in church, that I was thinking of my husband.  My best friend, was almost killed in an accident 11-30-10.  Believe it or not a bungee cord was the culprit.  He has been a truck driver almost the length of our relationship, which is 16 years.  I knew the next day as we waited for the upteen doctor to come "look" at his eye (he was a very exciting never seen case-10 doctors took his eye out of his head to inspect it in 4 days!) that God had something Huge in store for us.  I guess my title begins in 2001.  That is the year that I was baptized and truly began to want all of the Lord.  I remember every Sunday asking Wayne if he wanted to go to church with us and him having some excuse to why he needed to stay home.  Yes, I took my daughter and went to church by myself.  Envious of all the families that had their fathers/husbands with them.  One day the Lord spoke through the pastor's words directly to me.  He said that we had to be responsible for ourselves and that we couldn't make someone change their hearts, but the Lord could.  Well, I was so relieved.  Really, I felt a burden just come off me something quick.  I never asked him to go to church again and didn't feel envious of those families any more.  I prayed harder for him and ask God to change his world, allowing Wayne to accept him and be the spiritual leader of our home. 

In 2002 we had Anna.  She was born with hip dysplasia.  Our world came to a crashing halt.  Wayne, for the first time in our relationship, witnessed a miracle.  At that time, he had come to church a little and was making way on his journey.  He new that everyone we knew and all the people at our church were praying for her healing and that for miracle to be done.  And boy did he come through.  The week before this took place, the doctor stated that the condition wasn't getting better with the brace and for me to get a date for surgery lined up.  I took that request to Jesus.  I agreed with everyone that was in prayer for her healing. A week later at the next visit, miraculously the doctor was dumb founded and couldn't explain the change her in leg!  This was a catapult in our lives.

Wayne became a regular attendee at our church, started going to bible study, and church functions.  But even then I remember this is wonderful but I WANT MORE.  I know that their are women out there that wish that their husbands would just go to church (I had been one of them), but I wanted more.  Yes, it was fantastic that he made a huge step into religious activity.  But truly I wanted a spiritual leader for my children and me.

Later down the road, Wayne gave his life to Christ in a tree stand.  He asked God to take control and let him know what to do.  He has let go from his company the next day.  We were never happier.  We enjoyed each other and just talked about how this was what God wanted. I remember thinking, all I care about is now I know my husband is a kindred spirit! Thank you Lord, Thank you.

Since then he has had an accident that changed his perspective even more.  I notice a trend with Wayne that he has to be physically moved by the Lord.  Ya know, a little stubborn ;-) Honestly, this morning I sat wanting more.  I actually don't mind the religious activity.  I want God to have a hold of his heart in a mighty way.  I want him to pray with us, for us, for others, and seek out God's desires.  I want him to make decisions for our family and place them at the feet of Jesus.  Wow, that gives me chills just thinking about it.

So, you see...I am in love with this man.  I know one more person in love with him more than me-Jesus.  He wants him worse than I do.  God says that he knows the desires of our hearts.  These desires line up with him and it is so exciting to watch it all unfold before my eyes. 

Thank you Lord for my earthly best friend and husband.  He is a diamond in the rough and you are molding him so beautifully.  Thank you for his heart for my children and me.  I ask that you continue to grow him into the spiritual leader of this home.  I pray that he will have a passion for you that burns from within.  He is already a son of God and I know that you are waiting for the perfect time, so in that spirit please give me patience, understanding, and compassion for him.  I ask that you mold me into the wife that I need to be for him to take hold of you.  I want to make you proud of your servant and know that everything was done for you and you only.  You are so mighty and you have given and taken away from us.  But you are with us each step and we are alive because you died for us.  Thank you for experiencing my pain and turmoil. I thank you for your peace and comfort that you give to anyone who wants it.  You are my King, my Savior, and friend.  In all these things, I pray to you-Jesus.  Amen. 

Why do I Homeschool?

I am a learner at heart, so the other day I stumbled upon a webinar from Rainbow Resource.  It was about choosing the right curriculum.  Well, I am also one not to just waste money, so this appealed to me.  As I listened, one of the questions that it asked was "Why do you homeschool?"  It listed various reasons why one might jump into the hardest thing they have every done.  If your wondering, "Because I am crazy", wasn't one of the reasons :0) I have thought about this question for a week now, and feel led to blog the answer.

So, Why do I homeschool anyway?

This question can be answered a different way depending on the day and season in my life.  At first, I firmly believe that God called me to this ministry.  A ministry of healing past hurts of being a young mom and redeeming a relationship that God wants me to have with my children.  I know that some of you think to yourselves, that spending 24 hours a day-7 days a week with your children is not the best way to gain a healthy relationship with them.  But I ask you to question that thought.  Over the past 8 years I have been able to see our character for what it is.  We have been able to grow spiritually and to invest in one another's lives.  I believe that even on really bad days, God has shown us the art of forgiveness. We have been able to focus on the heart of situations, whether it was to comfort my eldest when she had a tumor and was wondering why her.  Or if it was having a sibling that was born with hip dysplasia and coping through it.  Trying to be there for one another and pray hard as a family for healing/restoration.   Being able to be there when it took 10 months for your father to heal and to learn to help step up when you are needed for life, is Priceless.  Witnessing a true miracle of a complete healing together.  I know, I know, any family can do these things.  But, just to be able to be there was more than memories. 

The calling that God has for me is to rise my children to love him.  He has placed me in a season that has people who have also been called for this reason.   I desire my children to love the Lord first, then do everything they can to live out their passions.  I want them to make time for their families by knowing when to slow down their activities.  I want them to really know the Lord their God as their friend, savior, and healer.  To hear him as that quiet still voice and to live accordingly.  So, when asked the question of why I homeschool, I just want the best for my children (as we all do).  Now, I can say we homeschool because not only has God called us to do so, but because we love spending time with each other.  Also, being able to use the time we have for what God wants us to do. 

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Oh How He Loves Me

Tonight was the 1st Saturday "religious meeting" that our church has held.  I have prayed throughout the week that God's presence would be felt.  With pot luck style dinner and fellowship, we began to worship.  PB ask for people to come up for healing, and I heard my thoughts wander.  Saying, "You don't believe it.  You just don't believe it can be done, don't go up there."  The musicians and singers started to sing "Fill me Lord" and I just listened, repeated...There was a older woman and husband, with what looked to be her married daughter and husband.  I kept hearing her say, "Yes, Jesus Fill Me.  Fill me, Jesus."  A moment passed, as I continued to listen, I felt the Holy Spirit come on me.  It was warm and flowed throughout my whole body.  I heard then, "I am healed, in the name of Jesus.  You don't have to go up there, but you can be healed in the name of Jesus." Burst out in tears and just worshiped the God of my fathers, God of Abraham, My Jehovah, My Creator, My Lover, and My Friend.  He loves me so much, so much more that I could ever imagine. 

I witnessed tonight the Love of our Father, how He ministered to a young girl through Anna.  Anna just being so motherly to her and the girl being more calm than she has ever been.  The domestic qualities that she possesses was over looked until tonight.  She showed her worship with this girl and through asking the other little girls to draw pictures for the people.  One by one, they drew and walked right up to the attendees to give them their art.  He showed me her attributes that are like Him. 

Thank you Lord for giving us life.  A life that is just filled with your presence.  You continue to amaze me with your power, love, grace, and mercy.  I ask that you would continue to "open" my eyes to what is for your glory.  I do not want my way, but yours.  Thank you for healing me.  Thank you for my children.  I ask that they will seek you as their Lord and Savior, up holding you as their standard in life.  I pray for their husbands and wife.  I pray that you would prepare their hearts as a lover of you and to be as one with them.  I also pray for Wayne, that you will fill his life with a passion for you.  That he would be the spiritual leader of our family and continue to honor you. Thank you Lord.  You are the one! In Jesus Name Amen


Monday, February 20, 2012

Love Your Neighbors

Leave it to my son to show us how to love our neighbors.  The day before Valentine's Day, William received his "new book" from National Wildlife Federation.  I read it that night, as I was putting him to bed.  In the magazine, there were Puffins and he asked me if they flew.  I told him I would find out and tell him tomorrow.  Well, the next morning I googled whether they flew and printed out a Puffin coloring sheet for him.  He was excited to know that they did fly and colored his picture with great detail.  He studied the picture of the puffin in his book, and then colored his picture accordingly.  He did such a great job and I was truly impressed! Well, he stood and made a declaration, " I want to give this to someone".  It was Valentine's Day, so I suggested to mail it to a grandparent.  He looked out the window and said "No, I want to give it to my neighbor."  He pointed across the street to a neighbor that we weren't really on good terms with due to some hunting issues and my father-in-law.  I cringed and said, "Sure."  Hoping he would forget my the end of the day.  As it was getting dusk, William looked out the window and said, "Mommy, we have to hurry and take my picture to our neighbor.  It is getting dark!"  So, I said okay and we took it to her door.  Her room mate was there and proudly excepted the picture, shook William's hand, and told him that she would love this picture when she got home.  When we left the house, William smiled from one ear to the other and looked up at me.  He said, "God said to love our neighbors!"  Boy did he teach me a thing or two that night.  I told Wayne what had happened and confessed that we need to love our neighbors, as God has called us to do.  It only took my 4 year old to teach me.

God, thank you for all of my neighbors.  We may not be really close or speak much, but they are my neighbors.  I pray that there will be a bond that will be between us all.  I also pray that we will be there for one another.  Thank you Lord for little gifts of your grace and love towards such a sinner like me.  I ask that you continue to pour your truth and qualities into my children.  I pray they will witness for you, and experience you in a might way.  I want them to know you Lord like never before and when people are around them, they can feel your presence.  Thank you Thank you.  I love you Lord.  In Jesus' Name-Amen!  

Saturday, February 18, 2012

As I sit on my swing reading, in the backyard, I hear my children excited about a radio they made work themselves and our chickens happily clucking.  My heart is warmed with God's joy just as the days breeze is touching my face.  I thank you Lord for the life you have given me.  I ask that you protect my children and allow them to grown up to be strong faithful lovers of you.  I pray that their wives and husbands would serve you and love my children all the days their lives.  I pray that you continue to mold Wayne into the man you want him to be.  Lord, I pray that I will become the wife, Mother, friend, daughter that you have always known I can be. 

I burst with overwhelming joy with song:

Sings my soul, My Savior God to thee, how great thou art.  How Great thou Art!

I love you Lord and I lift my voice to worship you Oh my soul rejoice....Let it be a sweet, sweet, sound in your ear. 

Amen

Monday, February 13, 2012

Obey

I find it interesting that when reading the Bible we see that the obedient followers of Christ are blessed beyond measure and those bent on changing or turning their cheeks have a hard time.  I thought about this morning as I was reading about Esau and Jacob.  It isn't that I haven't read the story before, but I just realized that as humans we want everything! Here two brothers are that clearly since conception have two totally different views on life.  It isn't that Esau didn't believe in Abraham's God, but he was just stubborn.  And what about Jacob, poor fellow just always listened to his mother :0) Which is a blessing when obeying the Lord, right.  He was quiet and obedient and was blessed with many things.  I just pray that the Lord would bless me more than I can imagine (He has in so many ways already). 

I ask you Lord to continue to bless my life and my children.  Please allow me to leave a heritage of Godly ways to my children and grandchildren.  I pray Lord that I will live a life that is Worthy of Your praise.  I pray that I am obedient the 1st time, always.  Your path is the light and I desire that for my life.  I pray that you can bring me peace, joy, faithfulness, meek and mild temper, and LOTS of self-control.  Lord you know the desires of my heart and if they line with your will, then as your words says let them me mine.  Thank you in advance for your Love, Grace, Guidance, Presence, and Peace.  You are my Lord and Master, My Prince of Peace, My Comforter, My Leader...Through you I can do all things.  In your might son's name-Jesus, Amen.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

GMO-Genetically Modified

Did you know that by eating this you are becoming less human! That is a scientific fact.  I called almost all the manufacturers in my pantry today.  General Mills is the worst! They said that they believe that modified foods is not harmful for people and that they think that as long as they are with the guidelines of the FDA they are fine.  I am so amazed at what these manufacturers are doing to us.  Our cells are confused and are causing all kinds of damage to our bodies, including cancer.   I pray that the Lord will give his people the money, knowledge, and courage to take a stand to healthier eating.  We need to eat more organically grown meats, veggies, and fruits.  Just as the Lord gave them to us.  I pray that whoever reads this will google GMO and find out for themselves what it is and what foods to avoid.  If we come together as a country they will go out of business.  Even Europe has banned all GMO processed products and ingredients. 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Do all in the name of God


These pictures are us at Callaway Gardens last weekend.



 The other day I was at the bank and the teller asked me, "Hey, are you still working?".  I replied that I was no longer working, but came back home.  She looked at me with her eyebrows turned down and said, "Why, wasn't it a good job?".  I smiled at her and told her, "I loved my job, but I love my kids more.  They are only small once and will be grown before I know it, so I have the rest of my life to work."  I turned and went back to my children that were waiting in the car.  There is always arguing and chaos, but I don't think I would change that for the world.  Staying at home with my 3 children and going through our trials with them is priceless.  Learning to "deal" with their emotional changes are also a lesson for me to have experience with self-control, patience, compassion, and faithfulness.  I realized that moment that this was a commitment and with the Lord I am up for the challenge.  I can do all things through him who gives me strength Philippians 4:13.  I love being at home and serving my husband and children.  I ask the Lord to allow me to reach people where I am, so he does.  I serve at my church with community outreach, serve my children, husband, and neighbor.  He has allowed me to pray for strangers and grow friendships that might not otherwise grew.  I will continue to pray that I will do all to the Glory of God!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012