Thursday, August 16, 2012

It's My Birthday

As I sit here tonight, thinking of the day, I caught myself thinking birthdays are just another day.  Ya know, kind of bummed that exciting parties, cake (in my case it would have to be gluten free), family, and friends were things of yesteryear.  I almost had a fog of depression moving in on me.  Partly because my hubby said he was working late and me thinking of our direction financially.  But I stopped and thought about my events of the day.  I had the privilege of my best friend of just a short year (but I feel like I have known her for a life time) drop her son off for me to school today and give me her Nook Color for my birthday.  Wow! I then was able to work lightly with my students (my 2 daughters and friend) with some bible and history.  I decided that if I wasn't going to do anything spectacular with my birthday, I should serve. To be honest, I feel like I have shown my students today, that it is not about receiving but giving.  I financially have nothing to give, but physically I could give my joy and love that God has given me.  We only served the local people for an hour and half, but we were praying for healing, laughing as we gained relationships, and gave food to restore hope with people.  What a joy it is to serve others, even when you don't feel like life is going your way.  Satan has no room here, only the one true God that I serve when I serve in His name.  Thank you Lord, for how much you love me.  I pray that my hands and feet will always serve you.  I ask that my words, thoughts, and actions make sweet incense to your nose.  Please guide my life with goals in mind, blessing everyone around me.  Help me Lord not to grow weary of doing good.  I pray Lord that I will not boast in anything or cause me to get the credit that is due to you.  Allow the work that I do to be yours and no others.  Give me strength and wisdom.  Thank you Lord, You are Amazing. Amen.

James 1: 2-4
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face various trials, because knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.

Galations 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

State of Worship

I have spent the week at a Vineyard Conference with a friend, my pastor, and his wife.  I have never even been to a revival before, let alone a week long conference.  So, needless to say it has been a week.  

Since being obedient to God two years ago, I have been dealing with "what's real" and "what's not".  I also have been dealing with feeling worthy to do what God has called me to, which is a big task for the children's ministry.  

There is a man named Robbie Dawkins.  He is known for his healing through the authority of Jesus Christ.  Well, to be honest fear is what rises when I see Mr. Dawkin's work.  So, when the service came for him to speak, I almost didn't go.  But I am glad that I did.   

As they introduced him they said some of you know him and some of you are afraid. I laughed out loud! Partly bc I was the one afraid :-) I prayed silently for God to reveal himself to me in a word that know one else knows. 

Boy did he. 

First, after a whole bunch of people came in floods to him as I stayed at my seat, he said he felt like someone was feeling lack of courage and to step out. I received that and moved towards my friend. As I tried to pray for my friend and her hurting heart I realized that Robby was standing right next to me. After a few minutes he turned and said ma'am I feel you need healing (well he doesn't know me from Adam and I never told him I feel like an 80 year old woman trapped in a 32 year old body), so I began weeping instantly. As I felt a sense of warmth move over my body, he stopped and said God is telling me that you don't feel worthy. (OK even more tears came flushing my face bc I had only told two people that and one didn't know him from Adam and the other didn't tell him). He began to speak prophetic words that I was a warrior for him. "Rise Warrior Rise". 

So meet my new motto. I am worthy and I will reach those He has called me to reach. I will live, move, pray with the lost broken shamed hopeless forgotten. He has not forgotten you. You are His precious children that he values so much.  He wrote your name on the palm of his name. I may have not gotten complete healing of my body tonight, but I received restoration of my spirit through the truth of My King!

It has been such a sweet time being in a state of worship with no distractions for 4 days.  I have never experienced anything like it before and now I look forward to be with my heavenly father more and more.  I am continuing to fight the good fight and I will not grow weary in doing good.  He is my healer, my provider, my comforter, my Abba father.  In Him I find rest.